Can Ideas of Modern Love Help Us Live Longer?
We’ve practically seen everything over the years from the 1950’s on. We have had many types of experiences. We have had many types of relationships or known many types of people. Maybe those relationships taught us life lessons and were not all bad. We now have better medicine and are aware of better foods and life-saving methods to help us.
We have had kids who now have kids, maybe. If you had kids late in life they are still working at it like my twin boys. You have heaps of advice to help them, if they ask. But they don’t ask and have to deal with life problems the hard way. You can tell them that they can ask you anything but they don’t.
A lot of us have lost spouses and are alone. Let’s just say you have been there, done that, and got the tee shirt. You have been “around the block” so to speak. My question is, “Could there be another way and another kind of relationship that could keep us going?” People in general think that “elderly” folks don’t have or want a love life. That is not true for a lot of people.
The other night I was watching Netflix or one of the other channels on Roku, which I do too much of and there was a movie entitled, “The Night of Our Souls.” Jane Fonda and Robert Redford were the main actors.
A story about two older people in their late sixties who lived alone and had lived in the same neighborhood for over forty years. Both of their spouses were gone and both had grown children that didn’t visit unless they were in trouble. I don’t remember the characters names, so we will call the Jane Fonda character, Ann, and the Robert Redford character, Alan.
One day, Ann called Alan and asked if she could come by to talk to him about something and did not want to talk to him about it over the phone. He said, “yea, sure.” She knocked on the door soon after. He awkwardly invited her in and offered her a drink.
Neither seemed to be comfortable with each other. They had not been close or friends but knew of each other. She finally stated what she wanted to talk to him about. She wanted to know if he would want to come to her house to sleep in her bed with her because she was very lonely. Just sleep! She also wanted to talk. He was a bit shocked by that and he said he would think about it and let her know.
They met the next day and he said he wanted to try it so that evening he brought over his pajamas and such and went to her back door to be let in. This threw her off and was annoyed he went to the back. He said he didn’t want people talking about them, but she didn’t care.
This started a slow relationship which helped both of them in the long run.
I thought it was pretty cool myself because over the last two years I have met someone and it is not platonic. It is rather nice. He works a lot so I don’t see him much, but when we do it is a choice experience.
If you have read my article, “Loving Traces — Spending Spaces” on Medium you will get what I mean by “choice”.
Just another bit of trivia: A few years ago I heard of a murder that took place in a senior facility. A lady shot an elderly man that she had been seeing because he was taking up and flirting with another women. She shot him! Life is too short for that bull crap.
So you see love still goes on in your later years and it is more comfortable and exciting than it ever could be. There is a different dynamic with older folks. Used to be it was all about sex, marriage, children, pregnancy. Now it is all about companionship, partnership, commitment, trust, and longevity.
But some people still don’t know how to act.